Tour

Did you see what happened in the Tour today?

No. And for that matter what tour? The Wu Tang O.D.B. Tribute tour? The PGA tour? I love (and by love I mean hate) how people will automatically assume just because you work in a field you need to keep up with all the peripherals that don’t actually have any effect on what you do every day.

The “Tour” of course is the Tour de France. I work in a bike shop. The race is in July. I work ten hours a day making people’s bikes work and I’m supposed to go home and spend another five hours watching more bikes on tape delay? Snore.

Most people will agree that I basically have the best job in the universe. My shop is just down the street from a university so I have hot college bitches swarming around me, I can drink beer during business hours, and my only responsibilities are fulfilling promises to people, most of whom look at my business as recreation and fun. However, you do anything long enough and it just becomes your boring, pain in the ass job.

Coming into the bike shop and asking me about the tour would be like me showing up at your job and asking, “Did you see what Ted did over in accounts receivable? No? Well, it was awesome. He had an account that was overdue by almost sixty days and got ‘em to pay up with a fifteen minute phone call. He even got ‘em to prepay for their next order! It was amazing. Man, I can’t believe you didn’t see that, I thought all you corporate business assholes paid attention to Ted in accounts receivable.”

There was a woman who came in the other day and asked me for an update on the Tour and when I told her I hadn’t been watching she literally said, “shame on you,” so I dropped my load on her face and she gave me $20.

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