Can a metro sexual man be a heterosexual?
The clear-cut answer would be an emphatic “NO”. Any man who spends more time in the bathroom, more money on hair and skin products, goes to the salon more, and has more culinary and interior decorating knowledge than most women obviously takes sausage deliveries in the mud tube. However, like the male cheerleader question I thought a bit more about it and decided to do a bit more research to provide my fans with accurate facts. To better understand the lifestyle I decided to shadow a metro sexual for one full day. This metro test subject requested I not use his name, so I will refer to him as Noodles.
Noodles started his day off with 3 cigarettes. After spending 1 hour 42 minutes getting ready for work, he left. Note: out of the 102 minutes getting ready 87 minutes were spent looking at his profile and flexing his arms in his wall to wall mirrored bathroom. Noodles arrives at work at exactly 8 a.m. and begins his shift with a cigarette. Every half hour Noodles is having a cigarette but in between the smokes I lost track of him. He must have a good hiding spot. Rumor has it he was hobnobbing with the bosses and throwing some coworkers under a bus. After the 3:25 cigarette break, like a greased dildo he flopped and slithered to his car. His first stop was the tanning salon for a 30 minute bake fest in the capsule. He then rushed to his 4:30 nail appointment where he received a manicure, pedicure, and a nail enhancement. This is where the research stopped. At that point cheerleading in high school seemed to be more manly than this metro lifestyle.
